By doc ellis
My mom was what in the 1920s-1950s was a scandalous thing to be, a single mom...but she was wise too…
(SO HERE COMES ANOTHER "GOTTATELLYA")
WHEN I was 8 years old (1933) and she and I lived in New York City (mom was an ex-chorus-girl who became a bookkeeper for a jeweler to support me), there was this Saturday ritual for me. Mom would give me 25 cents to go to the movies and also have a snack...15 cents for the movie, five cents for a candycounter hotdog and five cents for the rootbeer...that was my weekly allowance, the quarter.
Anyhoo, one Saturday as I briskly strode to the movies, this really old, old, old-looking, rag-clad lady approached me and held out her right hand...
"Hello, sonny, can you give a hungry old woman some money to get a bite to eat?"
Hey, my little naive generousity generating lovin' heart went out to the old gal and I joyfully handed her my quarter...and I felt so good and so proud...me, Howie, a Christian act of charity?
So the old gal snatches the quarter, looks at it and says, "IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT? I CAN'T GET NOTHIN' WITH THAT..." but the old hag kept that quarter and scurried away.
Stunned and almost in tears I rushed home to tell my mom AND ASK FOR ANOTHER QUARTER SO I COULD GO TO THE MOVIES ANYHOW.
My mom listened sympathetically and then told me, "It's important what happened today and I want you to remember it the rest of your life. I'm not going to give you another quarter for two reasons. One is I really can't spare it right now (the big financial depression was on), and second you gave away the quarter without thinking first whether your charity to her was really deserved or were you just being GULLIBLE and being tricked by a mean person."
I gotta tell ya truthfully, I've never forgotten that little incident and e'en tho' I'm gonna be 80 next month, I'll keep on remembering it because it didn't stop my "charitable" efforts throughout my life but it moderated my motivations, initiating wisdom before giving...and also taught me not to expect rewards for "goodness" except in my own soul.
Ya know somethin' kid, through my grown up eras, whenever one of our kids or grandkids sought "material reward" rather than merely appreciation for some generosity...I'd tell 'em, "I'm not giving away any quarters for that...but I do give you all my love and hugs for being so good and for being so kind..."
CHINTZY? I think not…
The German-import wife and I have a family thing going, we call it GONDELFOOZERS' DAY. One day in our first year together, I bought my wife a pair of earrings I spotted in the Post Exchange...no special occasion, just thought she'd like them. She did. But when she asked my WHY did I get them I told her...making it up on the spot..."Gee hon, it's Gondelfoozers' Day in America...it's a day when you just do something or get something for someone just 'cause you want to."
It's something she and I have done for ourselves and friends and family ever since...it's a selfish thing, really, because we do it to make OURSELVES feel good.
GUESS WE ELLISES ARE KIND "NUSSE"..."NUTS"...doc ellis
U.S. Legacies January, 2005
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